Re: Last film you watched and your rating: The Directors Cut
Posted: Fri May 04, 2018 4:38 pm
Avengers: Infinity War
I thought this was excruciating. The great success of Marvel seems to be convincing people that the gibberish nonsense their characters spend 80% of their films spouting is worthy and of importance. Because the actors are beautiful, and the music is forceful, and the production values high, and the overwhelming acclaim tells you this is not to be mocked and laughed at. I don't mind gibberish! I don't mind any nonsense. As long as it's fun, as long as it's not boring.
This is not for me, fine. I was asked to go. After Civil War was like watching two metal blokes spend 5 hours trying to punch each other into another dimension, I swore i wouldn't put myself through it again.
I was so close to leaving the cinema with this, so close to not being able to take listening to such incomprehensible pointless wank. Half way through where it felt like languishing in some kind of hellish limbo state, not knowing how close you are to the end, it dawned on me; no strawberry floating way do people not already extremely invested in Marvel enjoy this rubbish. No way. Not buying it whatsoever. I temporarily in the cinema left my physical body and hovered high up, imagining what exactly is going in the mind of others at this point; what are you comprehending what I am not? Can others just absorb boredom better than me?
I was so strawberry floating bored i started thinking how i'd phrase this tedium in words. Then i was wondering i should shave my beard, it's at that point now where the hairs are too dry and i was thinking i don't want to shave it too short. You get different lengths to shave at but it's best when the hair hasn't already come out. I'll try something anyway.
...adopted daughter made up subplot to give FEELS can strawberry float off, is still boring, fast forward please for the love of life get a move on and get to the point or inevitable fight scene at the end.
It's just...exposition is said to be bad writing in other films. Show, don't tell, right? Yet this is about 80% exposition. It's probably the most predictable film ever made. It jumps around introducing the same arseholes from the other films as they eventually have a fight with some metal men with metal spears or stumble over what a Thanos is.
I'm not just extremely wary of other peoples tastes anymore, but their actual credibility as convincing human beings. I don't mean this in an insulting way, there's a few instances where i'll never ever understand the thinking. And it's not just with entertainment. Just generally. Like, the all consuming, relentless hatred people have for Jeremy Corbyn. Or mentioning homelessness to people and getting the response; 'they're pretending, they're well off, do you know I once saw one with a Berghaus coat, and a phone. A phone!'
You know? You feel detached from reality. Who are you? What is this? I can try to understand the psychology, I'm not going to just assume I'm in a simulated reality and your code has malfunctioned, I will give the benefit of the doubt.
The way i find Marvel films boring is the way some find The Lord of The Rings boring. Which annoys me, because i know those who might say that also like some really strawberry floating boring slow films. The difference is, and i neither have affection for the book or medieval fantasy in general, is that LOTR grounds it all in a reality. It's not got space hopping aliens. Its orcs are created. Its wizards ride horses. The story is epic and powerful, the idea of a ring that grants power that even good wizards won't go near in case they turn to the dark side and try to rule the world with it. That's really evocative.
Journey to destroy the ring where it was made, to be undertaken by these little hobbits that can go undetected and are so humble and jolly the lure of the ring's power won't work the same on them. They're from a small village, you watch them as make their way across all kinds of terrain and defeat all kinds of foes. It tapped into the sense of wonder and discovery i got as a kid from The Never Ending Story, Labyrinth and Krull. I heard about these big battles and got a massive kick out of seeing them. More than that, i had NO IDEA where their journey would take them, NO IDEA.
What does Avengers and its never ending series of events have? A blue alien guy with some stones that grant him the power to wipe out half of a planet's population, but he wants the full set from some guys on Earth so that he is granted even more power to do the same thing more efficiently and humanly, so he can erase people painlessly and spend more time sleeping.
It's like a strawberry floating master system game. strawberry floating really? The whole rhetoric of 'yeah, populations can't cope when over populated, need to be culled' can strawberry float off. From films, comics, life. The baddie in gooseberry fool cgi blockbusters who have a hard on for genocide can strawberry float off as well. I know our heroes fight heroically against such tedious declarations, but it counts as propaganda to continuously suggest it's the solution. I'm bored of aliens visiting Earth and saying we need to be wiped out for the benefit of the planet/universe. Again, it's subtle propaganda, where people can only view each other as parasites on resources.
The way people absorb the nonsense of these films made me think whether they'll come a point where we look back in despair and horror. In the same way future historians will look back at this post millennium phase of human life and be embarrassed and ashamed. They might think; really? They just...carried on doing the same things? Even though...and they didn't change at all?
Then they expand their research to the most popular films of the time, watch all the Marvel films and think; oh, it makes more sense now.
1/10.
my rating system has 1 defined as 'a slog', which it was. I spent 2 hours wanting it to end. But, I'm generous, I take the good from films. Some humour, some good set pieces, good tension, whatever. This had nothing.
I thought this was excruciating. The great success of Marvel seems to be convincing people that the gibberish nonsense their characters spend 80% of their films spouting is worthy and of importance. Because the actors are beautiful, and the music is forceful, and the production values high, and the overwhelming acclaim tells you this is not to be mocked and laughed at. I don't mind gibberish! I don't mind any nonsense. As long as it's fun, as long as it's not boring.
This is not for me, fine. I was asked to go. After Civil War was like watching two metal blokes spend 5 hours trying to punch each other into another dimension, I swore i wouldn't put myself through it again.
I was so close to leaving the cinema with this, so close to not being able to take listening to such incomprehensible pointless wank. Half way through where it felt like languishing in some kind of hellish limbo state, not knowing how close you are to the end, it dawned on me; no strawberry floating way do people not already extremely invested in Marvel enjoy this rubbish. No way. Not buying it whatsoever. I temporarily in the cinema left my physical body and hovered high up, imagining what exactly is going in the mind of others at this point; what are you comprehending what I am not? Can others just absorb boredom better than me?
I was so strawberry floating bored i started thinking how i'd phrase this tedium in words. Then i was wondering i should shave my beard, it's at that point now where the hairs are too dry and i was thinking i don't want to shave it too short. You get different lengths to shave at but it's best when the hair hasn't already come out. I'll try something anyway.
...adopted daughter made up subplot to give FEELS can strawberry float off, is still boring, fast forward please for the love of life get a move on and get to the point or inevitable fight scene at the end.
It's just...exposition is said to be bad writing in other films. Show, don't tell, right? Yet this is about 80% exposition. It's probably the most predictable film ever made. It jumps around introducing the same arseholes from the other films as they eventually have a fight with some metal men with metal spears or stumble over what a Thanos is.
I'm not just extremely wary of other peoples tastes anymore, but their actual credibility as convincing human beings. I don't mean this in an insulting way, there's a few instances where i'll never ever understand the thinking. And it's not just with entertainment. Just generally. Like, the all consuming, relentless hatred people have for Jeremy Corbyn. Or mentioning homelessness to people and getting the response; 'they're pretending, they're well off, do you know I once saw one with a Berghaus coat, and a phone. A phone!'
You know? You feel detached from reality. Who are you? What is this? I can try to understand the psychology, I'm not going to just assume I'm in a simulated reality and your code has malfunctioned, I will give the benefit of the doubt.
The way i find Marvel films boring is the way some find The Lord of The Rings boring. Which annoys me, because i know those who might say that also like some really strawberry floating boring slow films. The difference is, and i neither have affection for the book or medieval fantasy in general, is that LOTR grounds it all in a reality. It's not got space hopping aliens. Its orcs are created. Its wizards ride horses. The story is epic and powerful, the idea of a ring that grants power that even good wizards won't go near in case they turn to the dark side and try to rule the world with it. That's really evocative.
Journey to destroy the ring where it was made, to be undertaken by these little hobbits that can go undetected and are so humble and jolly the lure of the ring's power won't work the same on them. They're from a small village, you watch them as make their way across all kinds of terrain and defeat all kinds of foes. It tapped into the sense of wonder and discovery i got as a kid from The Never Ending Story, Labyrinth and Krull. I heard about these big battles and got a massive kick out of seeing them. More than that, i had NO IDEA where their journey would take them, NO IDEA.
What does Avengers and its never ending series of events have? A blue alien guy with some stones that grant him the power to wipe out half of a planet's population, but he wants the full set from some guys on Earth so that he is granted even more power to do the same thing more efficiently and humanly, so he can erase people painlessly and spend more time sleeping.
It's like a strawberry floating master system game. strawberry floating really? The whole rhetoric of 'yeah, populations can't cope when over populated, need to be culled' can strawberry float off. From films, comics, life. The baddie in gooseberry fool cgi blockbusters who have a hard on for genocide can strawberry float off as well. I know our heroes fight heroically against such tedious declarations, but it counts as propaganda to continuously suggest it's the solution. I'm bored of aliens visiting Earth and saying we need to be wiped out for the benefit of the planet/universe. Again, it's subtle propaganda, where people can only view each other as parasites on resources.
The way people absorb the nonsense of these films made me think whether they'll come a point where we look back in despair and horror. In the same way future historians will look back at this post millennium phase of human life and be embarrassed and ashamed. They might think; really? They just...carried on doing the same things? Even though...and they didn't change at all?
Then they expand their research to the most popular films of the time, watch all the Marvel films and think; oh, it makes more sense now.
1/10.
my rating system has 1 defined as 'a slog', which it was. I spent 2 hours wanting it to end. But, I'm generous, I take the good from films. Some humour, some good set pieces, good tension, whatever. This had nothing.